Ciara is next to me, sound asleep and it makes me feel so calm just to listen to her breathing.
I would be devastated if I ever lost her.
She’s the best thing to ever happen to me.
I love you, Ciara.
Worked a 12 hour shift today until 4AM and it is now 5:43AM and I cannot seem to sleep.
Too much on the mind I guess.
Also I am getting my right forearm tattoo covered up in a couple months AND I AM GONNA CRY BECAUSE IT’S ABOUT DAMN TIME
Sometimes I just have to wonder what the fuck customers think when I’m talking to them and my face gets really red due to my anxiety…
I don’t care if people look at me and tell me that my job is shit or whatever because now finally I have a job that I actually don’t fucking dread everyday. Even though I don’t make nearly as much as I used to, I’M GLAD I QUIT THAT SHITTY CONSTRUCTION JOB.
I’ve worked the last 7 days in a row and I wasn’t the least bit miserable.
I’m 100% above and beyond in love with the lady I now live with.
I swore up and down I would never move for someone ever again, and yet here I am. In a new city where I know pretty much nobody besides her and her family. and that’s ok with me because I get to be with her every day and I get to sleep next to her every night. and I am completely happy with her. She makes me feel like I’m the one and only person in the world when we are together and that’s a feeling I have never felt before.
I’m stubborn and I get jealous when I have no reason to be. and it’s not even that I don’t trust her, because I do, it’s just habit now to always worry because I have been fucked over so many times and I’m positive she could do a hell of a lot better than me. but she chose me and I just am so grateful to have such a beautiful and loving girlfriend that I get to see everyday.
I love you so much Ciara. and I’m sorry that I can’t just tell you these things to your face. You deserve someone who can look you in the eye everyday and tell you how much you mean to them and how gorgeous you are. I will work on it. I keep saying that. I just have trouble with words and expressing my feelings towards people who deserve to hear it the most. We’ve discussed it many times so I know you understand but I do see how disappointing it can be sometimes. I’m sorry.